We grieve all sorts of things: a parent who can’t really show up for you, a marriage that’s deteriorating, a gendered self we tried to wear for decades, the body we once trusted, the dream we carried for years and never got to live. These living losses hurt. And like all grief, they bring us—eventually, repeatedly—to a place we call acceptance. But what if acceptance isn’t what we think it is?

When we think of denial, it's often framed as an obstacle—something to overcome, a stage to pass through quickly on our way to "proper" healing. But what if denial serves a deeper purpose in our grieving process? What if this maligned response is actually one of our mind's most sophisticated protection mechanisms? Often times we are grieving something long before we realize it and the moment the denial lifts is the moment we ‘come to’ about what others may have been watching us act out for some time. This is why I have placed this installment near the back of the series - because for many people, denial can occur somewhere in the thick of the messy, unpredictable sea of emotions much like life itself: unpredictable and unexpected, with the fog clearing only to finally illuminate all that came before it.

Grief doesn't just follow death, it accompanies all significant losses—relationships, jobs, opportunities, health challenges, identity changes, or even losses of hopes and dreams. Among the complex emotional landscape of grief, depression stands as perhaps the most misunderstood stage. Unlike the more active stages of denial, anger, or bargaining, depression in grief represents a quieting, turning inward that's both necessary and deeply challenging.

The bargaining stage has something particularly maddening about it. One moment, you’re accepting what happened; the next, you’re crafting elaborate deals with the universe that could somehow undo the loss. It's like being caught in an eternal tug-of-war with reality. And here's the thing about grief that nobody tells you: it isn't reserved only for when someone dies. It comes for us in countless forms—when relationships end, when friendships dissolve, when one of our dreams have to be abandoned, when our identities shift, when possibilities close, when the future we imagined disappears.

We often think about relationships in terms of building, growing, and nurturing. But what about when they change dramatically or end altogether? The transitions that reshape our connections with others—divorces, breakups, family estrangements, friendships that drift apart— can be among life's most painful experiences. These moments can challenge not just our emotional wellbeing but often our very identity. This is where radical acceptance becomes not just helpful, but essential.

When we embark on a journey of personal growth—whether through therapy, self-help, spiritual practice, or simple life experience—we're often sold the sunny side: transformation, liberation, authenticity, and wholeness. The glossy promises of becoming our "best selves" fill bookshelves and social media feeds.

What rarely makes the marketing materials is the unavoidable companion to all meaningful growth: grief.